Bizarre Relationships!!

~ ..~...~..~

It was such a beautiful sight

before that voice bumped into my life

Pretending to be a victimized figure

It was a mind full of dirt inside

A figure too selfish

Yeah that’s what you’ll remain for life

Oh I've got no fear in saying that

Yeah you yes you, just get lost from my life

Sitting back with your melodrama

You tried to ruin it all

Your fake concern, fake words

Yeah you conspired, you faked it all

Sugar-coated venom that flows in your veins

you spewed and enjoyed, and kept spewing it on me

Now don’t act so innocent, don’t you try that on me

coz I’ve seen your ugliness, yeah, your selfish reality

Too fake it is, that its mere thought suffocates me

Probably that’s what you wanted, to dominate me

Yeah you wanted me to suffocate secretly in pain

by keeping everything inside of me

You wanted me to conceal my pain

You didn’t mind seeing my breath sinking in dark

You wanted to portray me wrong

Your care was so artificial; I couldn't take it any long

You knowingly rejoiced seeing me wither,
probably waiting in leisure for me to eventually die
You molded things and twisted thoughts

You were just a loser, Yeah I was so right

And that's what you will remain for life

Hard-hearted hypocrite, an inhumane tale

Enough of respect, enough of being patient

Enough of sinking in shrilling silence that’s so pale

I will wait for the time to turn,

I will not quit this soul-wrenching sail

I will never let you win this; yeah 
Time will lead you to your fate without any fail

By that time, pray to god to loosen the knot for you

coz you've been just wasting time unable to see through

My pale skin, my fading eyes, didn't bother you at all
Now take your voice away, or I'll hate you even more 
Yeah you, I hate you from the core of my soul

  

How could you be so hard-hearted?

coz that is not someone we call an angel like figure

You stand no chance in front of my angel my protector

Coz unlike you, she can’t see me fall and wither

Now stop crawling into my soul
Stop clinging onto my being,
keep that hypocrisy away from me

Don't want to see your face again

~~ © VANDANA VERMA

 ~ ..~...~..~

..~..Respect Your Privileges..~..

After a super-hectic weekend, we went out for some shopping to de-stress ourselves. Evening is always the best time for that...the feel-good time! Well, somewhere in the middle of our way, shopping seemed to have become the secondary activity; our aim shifted towards having some delicious food at a famous nearby market. But, women are the happiest, when they get to SHOP..!! Yeah...they don't like to miss shopping! So, after a happy and colorful round of shopping, we headed towards the food-zone to have some delicious fast food...kind of a famous eat-street activity! You know, where there is a momo-outlet, the mouths of their lovers water! They are not allowed to ignore them. It's a sin to overlook your favorite foods. Isn't it? We went ahead and checked out the menu for something new. As always, our eyes were set on the variety of chicken momos... ONLY!

Steamed chicken momos were dragging our taste buds under monotony from some days, so we decided to try out fried chicken momos from the same stall this time. Believe me, those were the best fried momos we've ever had, extremely rich in taste and content but so light at the palate. Fiery bliss! But, can't tell you how long we had to wait for them. At a point, it started seeming like forever. Standing for about 10 minutes, finally we got that gleam of light in our eyes when those beautiful round golden momos arrived. The guy served them and we just couldn't wait a minute longer to gobble them up. Each of us picked up one and dipped it thoroughly in spicy chili sauce. 

It was about to plunge into my mouth when we heard a voice, "Mam, please stop! Those are not chicken momos." We were like, WHAT ?? what do they consist of then?? Pork?? NO! We were shocked and confused whether he had served us some other form of non-veg. In the midst of that current of confusion, another voice came saying, "Don't worry mam, those are veg momos." Uff, that gave us a moment of relief..!! Then what, we were again requested to wait and finally after 5-6 minutes, we got to eat them. Thank God; the excitement was not killed entirey. Anyway, the momos were worth the wait, totally!! They were crispy, juicy, spicy, rich in content; and the cherry on the cake was the smokey chili sauce, with the accurate amount of spiciness in it! I would give them 9 on 10. That's because I've saved the top position for the Tandoori Momos that my father brings for us every week. Nothing tempts me more than their mesmerizing sight. I would definitely share their picture with you soon.They are simply 10 on 10...!!!

While sharing our experience with you, I constantly had a thought coming to my mind.

..~..~.. A thought to ponder upon ..~..~.. 

"How lucky we are to be able to savor all our favorite foods. 

Not everyone in the world has this privilege of choosing what they want to eat. Many of us go to bed hungry. 

Not everyone is as blessed as we are. 

So please, respect your privileges and do not waste food!"

 ..~..~.. ..~..~.. ..~..~.. 

If I had a chance to have only one wish granted by the angels, I would have asked for adequate food for every stomach. How beautiful this world would have been if it was actually possible! I pray that a day comes when it would turn into reality. . .Someday. . .I wish!

Hmmm. . . after feasting on momos and finishing every bit of them, we went ahead to try veg cheese-burst pizza from another outlet. Well this time, it was not worth the wait. In one word, it was ...eeeeuuuuuuwwwwww....properly "uncooked" tasteless texture-less pizza it was! I would not even want to give it a rating. It spoiled our mood completely. I wish we never tortured our tongue with that strange tasteless thing served in the form of pizza. It was like a parody...a very bad one! Waste of money it was!

It was not enough folks. 

We decided to have some golgappeee to change our taste. But they were also average. Not that crisp, not that tangy, they seemed utterly plain in taste. Phew! They also didn't help us much in getting over from that horrifying pizza. After going through a struggle for taste, we were not left with enough energy to try anything else as the later two had already spoiled our evening to a great extent. 

So to conclude, what made us really happy was the shopping on that evening, followed by the yummiieee fried chicken momos!

It is very rare when mommy, sister, and I go out together on weekends. But, whenever it happens, that time becomes a part of the most joyous times we could ever have. Every single moment is zealous and cherishable.   (Papa is never free. He never gets time to have some rest..) 

..~..~.. We love each others' company to the Moon and back!! ..~..~..

..~..~.. Just LOVE those times!! Every bit of my family!! ..~..~.. 
   

˙·٠• Creating Yourself •٠·˙

"Hey dear life...Where have you been hiding?

My heart has been running to chase you!

My first quest, dear life, is you...Yeah..it's you!

Please apprise me of what's it like to be far from me.

Here I'm standing anxious to have a glance at you!"

(☆★☆ few lines born from yesterday's  boredom. . .)

　　　　　　

I'm supposed to attend my "In-Service Training" this entire week. Well that's not my concern. My concern is to attend every session attentively. Yes, being attentive! Trust me; that really gets difficult sometimes, or most of the times. The concern, that ends on futile trials. That's not because I'm reluctant towards learning; I'm a learner for life, you see! But, going through the same lessons again and again is really boring, and tiring as well. The training so far is seeming no different than the orientation training that we went through in the first month of our service; it's kind of a repetition this time. 

So, what does one should do to kill time in that scenario? Or I should say, what we actually do in that case? I know our answers are all same, wink! We mostly daydream, yawn, sleep with open eyes, draw lines and circles in our notebooks, check time on our cellphones, wait for the break, and pretend to be a keen listener. Right? 

In the midst of this boredom, I came across a quote on one of the social networking websites. It was:

"Life is not about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

Creating yourself! 

That definitely is the aim of each one of us. But how, when, and where do we start? 

I remember this beautiful Hindi song that we've grown up hearing. . . 

                   ~~~~~~

"Papa kehte hai bada naam karega...

Beta humara aisa kaam karega...

Magar ye toh, koi naa jaane...

ki meri manzil hai kahaan..."

                   ~~~~~~

Yeah! This song is about creating ourselves. What shape do we take, is decided by the path chosen by us.

So what is "Creating yourself"? I think, it's not totally about owing a big name in the world, a big house, big cars, or a luxurious lifestyle. It's actually about being an individual who is full of happiness and contentment.. No doubt the above mentioned things are desired by all of us as they help us meeting that contentment and happiness in life to some extent. Not being materialistic, that's a fact! 

To achieve it all, we start with studying hard since childhood. One of life's beautiful phase flies by in understanding it's meaning. Half of the youth goes away in giving life a direction; finding a desired job takes away the whole of it. In this journey of achieving something, we lose the sight of our destiny- A LIFE TO BE CHERISHED! Then, erasing the difference of day and night, we push all our limits and burn ourselves in the fire of  hard work. In the long run, a time arrives when we forget the actual purpose behind it; which was. . . to live a happy and content life. . . to enjoy life. I guess, that's why we were born!

We often tend to forget that our internal happiness is not dependent on materialistic things.

I think we all are aware of what is capable of giving us that eternal happiness. . .Yes, that is. . . LOVE of the dear and near ones; spending time with them; making MEMORIES with them. 

And, we don't need to be a millionaire for that! Do we? 

Life and Happiness are bound to time, and time, my friend, is bound to pass. So, make the best use of it. Not only by adding on to your achievements, but also CELEBRATING this beautiful gift of life. 

Remember. . . We won't get another one!

~~Life is Good~~

I wish I had something exciting to share but I've got nothing. Just run of the mill life stuff like spending most of my energy on work and coping with the seasonal health issues as best I can. Last couple of weeks haven't been very picturesque, let me tell you...

...few not so exciting things...

:: I know people including me out here in Delhi have been feeling summer-grilled lately. I think we should now stop claiming that we are a country of seasons but long humid summers, irregular humid rains, and short but bone-chilling winters. I think they're just not subtle anymore. As of now, I'm enjoying the cool evenings, even if the soothing weather is slow to catch up. I've been managing to survive the brutal heat of day-time with loads of lassi, chhaach, juices, water, and lot more of water (not cold water as it doesn't suit me). Yeah! You got that right. It should not be cold, no matter how scorching hot the Sun is! I've also started avoiding AC, as my body has started showing up the signs of cervical. I find it bothering me more when in AC. Phew!  Adding onto the problem...are these seating jobs...As I always say...Such jobs are the biggest enemies of health! I'm normally loathe to give up summer, but this year's heat wave literally killed me, and now I'm grasping at any hint of chill in the air even if it would mean to go through a strange kind of depression that I usually face in winters only. 

:: Okay, just like past few weeks, I've been able to spend only a little time home this week, apart from the sick leave.  Most of our time is consumed by the never-ending shopping spree. Seriously, it feels like it would never end! Wow...a never ending shopping spree...just love it every time!! The only thing that bothers us is...our Sun-tanned skin. You see, we get no time to pamper ourselves, which is equally important to be done. I’m always seeking out some free time, be it in office, or at home, free time to do nothing; not even pampering myself...but just nothing! 

:: Moreover, I've been constantly hogging fast food and sweets and all kinds of fatty food....Fried chicken momozzzz (yummmmm...), pizza (drooool....), cheese bread (heaven’s delight.....), kebabs, tikkaazz, chips (countless packets), cookies, wafers, chocolates, cup-cakes, sweets........... Just name it! All thanks to the pre-marriage rituals involving sweets at every step! Our refrigerator is full of sweets these days.  Also, when you have all these yummy things in front of you, you have to respect them!! Won’t you?? I don't even mind doing it, as long as I don't put on weight. But when it comes to healthy food in lunch, my hunger dies within a fraction of seconds. That’s not good!! 

:: It seems like I've started basing my eating habits against the approaching weather. Don’t remember how and when I developed this strange habit of savoring ice-cubes, ice-crumbs, and every other form of ice. I know it’s not good for my health, especially in this changing weather; still I’m drawn to the refrigerator like a moth is drawn to a flame; and that’s the reason behind my daily dose of scolding from mommy (which is always received graciously by me, it’s so full of love!). Despite that, I manage to get my hands on ice occasionally. Love that taste...mmmm...bliss!! 

:: Office, as usual, is beating the hell out of my mental peace. Haahahahaaa... not really ... just kidding...!! These days are few peaceful ones from a teeny-weeny annual lot of happy days. I can say this as I've completed my first year working for this Government organization. Rare are these happy and peaceful days! But next two weeks are going to be fully packed with work. This is the story of the first two weeks of every month. Anyway! To have a peaceful life, we should leave the office stuff at office only. You leave office for the day; you leave all its tensions at its gate only. That’s the key to a happy life on the personal front.  I do the same. At least, I try. Do you?? If not, give it a try tomorrow..........You’ll feel great!!

**************************

~~~Leaving you beautiful people with a quote as beautiful~~~:

~~~It's often life's smallest pleasures and gentlest joys that make the biggest and most lasting difference.~~~  

~ Unknown

**************************

. . .What My Heart Says. . .

I wanted this particular dawn to be a pleasing one...Just wasn't aware that it would be.

At times...it's just one simple step around the corner that marks the beginning of a change!

PC: Google Images

Listen to what my heart says...

Change is good..!!

But, I would never, never ever want to get so engaged, so occupied, that I fail to hear the hush; the quiet; the beautiful tranquility of a brand new day.

I am grateful to the expression- ~ SLOW ~!! 

The word, that often reminds me to slow down in the race of life. 
To slow down, both with intention, and purpose; and sometimes, just for the sake of clearly seeing the journey through life.

Hmm...How I ponder on it time and again.

We all feel the same way about it, I think..!! 

But don't know if you also have a hard time practicing it. Do you?? 

How amazing life would have been..

if only we could just slow down, and simply rejoice in the serenity of life..!!  

At least, more often than we may already do. 

May you have a beautiful day..!!

Is it always sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew??

"It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew."

                                                                         -Henry Rollins

I used to believe it too. 

No offense guys! But...is it so ?? I mean...is it always true??
............Naaahh............not always.....!!

*******************************************************************

Life is a beautiful journey which is always willing to bestow us with some of the most beautiful companions out there...Some people without whom our journey will never be completed. We would never be able to have a beautiful life without their company, their unconditional support and love.

Those integral parts of our life are, our family- our life's *~angels~* who are the prime building blocks of our existence, and a handful of friends who once were total strangers, who came along to become our soul family at later point of time. 

It would have been impossible to keep walking on this long road of life without them all. What is life without family and friends? .....NOTHING!!.....

When I talk about "Unconditional Support and Love"....I know that it's quite easy to talk about it, but extremely rare to experience and hard to deliver. Only, and only those mentioned above can practice it in real life. Those are the people who will always love you, encourage you, guide you, and correct you for your betterment, towards a better life. 

Somebody said.......```There are somethings that money can't buy```... and ...```There are some people who can never be replaced in life!!``` These words are true to the core!!

If these "few people" are "blessings" in your life, then you would also come across "many", who would turn out to be the "blight" in your life. 

Blight, that has to be combated and cured without giving a second thought...just like a mistake that needs to be corrected at the earliest as to protect our happiness from going into ruins. Mistakes are made only to learn from; to teach us the difference between right and wrong, to tell us who deserves to be cherished and who must be thrown out of our lives.

That's why broken trusts and betrayed friendships must be scraped away from our lives as they would always pull you back in their drama. Those pretended friends perch on you just to satisfy their selfish needs. They would never miss an opportunity to display their hidden talent of drilling holes under your boat. 

So better is to burn some bridges than to allow those peace-suckers to crawl into your life as masked well-wishers.

~~~ "When you deal with the genuine, you don't deal with the fakes anymore."~~~  

                                                                             I like this quote by Nima Davani a lot....

I know it would hurt a little, or may be a lot in the beginning, but in the later phase of life, you are definitely going to feel proud of your decision...~~the life-changing decision!!

I can vouch for that, because I am one of those who at some or the other point of life, have met such two-faced losers who call themselves your best buds for don't know what reasons, and then, they make sure to show their true colors behind your back by bitching about you with random people. All they want is to mold you their way, talk the way they want, think as they do. If you don't, they go crazy inside.

...."Nobody wants to know how you feel, yet, they want you to do what they feel."....   

                                                        - Reality quoted by Mr. Michael Bassey Johnson

PC: Google Images

So what I did to bring peace back in my life was the best thing that I could do at that point of time. Yes, earlier it was difficult but once I decided to do it, I just went ahead and did it!! I threw them out of my life. Not like kicking them off in air  ...I started maintaining a decent level of distance from them and slowly my life came back on track!! Now I'm happy and I think they are too....Blah!! Who cares anyway..!! 

~~~~~~Knowing the fact, I could not get happier....when someone I had known for a long-time became someone I knew.~~~~~~

My life turned prettier after they left along with their not so-cool drama!! I started finding my happiness in life's simple pleasures. I've stopped following the path of dependence in search of joy, my happiness now belongs only to me and my angels- my family and my true friends!! Not to everybody around me....

********************************************************************

When the "Bully" is not around..!!

Do you know which day of the week is the most delightful? Sunday..because that's a holiday.

Or the day, when the "Bully" is not around...wow!! 

Such news that he is not going to come for next couple of days is like the sweetest music that my ears could ever hear. What a joy this news brings! News fully soaked in perfect blend of unimaginable exhilaration and fulfillment...Yaaaayy....Sheer bliss!! 

Workplace, usually a busy-place, becomes fun-place in those days. Work-pressure, that crushes our minds in peak hours, seems to have become lighter than a feather. Those low-speed "sarkaari" ceiling fans that are never able to cool us suddenly start soothing our blazed away spirits. That hard chair (more of an antique piece) starts comforting my tired being much like a couch. The extended lunch chit-chats and giggles bring in much needed peace of mind. 

The persistent respite blows the day away in the blink of an eye. I can't put that hale feeling into words. It's never a burdensome day, it never gets that clumsy, when the "Bully" is not around!

Talking about the routine, those unnecessary battles of ideas that we go through everyday are enough to suck out all the energy from a person. But the "Bully" is never tired of them, because his imaginary supreme intelligence says that he's always right!!

Such a golden time arrives only once in a blue moon, when you don't have to worry about anything; be it the unnecessarily created hype towards work, or the meaningless demands for related explanations. You don't have to bother about a bully often spewing venom against co-workers, or termites who gnaw away all your inner peace. That short span of freedom from the master of menace who openly belittles his sub-ordinates every now and then...is priceless!! 

PC: Google Images

Long awaited "blissful times"...

When the "Bully" is not around!

Joyful days...

Leisure...Relieved ears...Relaxed mind...Ease at work...

Simply wonderful!!

That's why they say..."Good things come to those who wait (faithfully  ..)"

Once upon a Saturday..

Friday, Friday...

Getting down on Friday...

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend...

Partying, partying..yeah...

Fun fun fun fun... ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♭ ♮ ♯

        -"Friday" by Rebecca Black 

No song could better sing out this universal tale that's gushed with the weekend excitement in our hearts !

Although I have only Sundays off, I'm still excited about Saturdays nearing. That's because I meet him every Saturday evening after work. And believe me, I get free from the unnecessary baggage of stress the moment I see him ! Such a magical smile he owns ! It kind of starts my weekend right.

We sit together and share giggles. We never restrain ourselves from being frank about the problems and resolving them together. We discuss our work and plan our future together. The world seems to be next to heaven in that moment ! We often get engaged in tittle-tattle and that's how Saturday evening turns out to be a stress-buster.   

Saturday evening is all about spending time with him. But that day, I stumbled upon a reason to observe the other side of the world as well, and, think !

Recently, we met at a commercial hub. The place as usual was full of food joints and cine-complexes. It was packed with people due to weekend. After having a round of eating and nice chat, we were on our way home. Moving ahead amid the crowd, we stopped to take a selfie as remembrance of the day. 

Along the exterior of the place, an elderly man was selling toys. It was not a shop, he was trying to sell them sitting on the floor itself. Unassisted, he was giving demos of his key-toys. The toys were not expensive. One could buy a toy at a price as low as Rs. 30. I found them cute so I bought one. 

The closest from that place were the food joints which were fully occupied with people. Families with kids were all around that area. I don't know why, but I just could not ignore what was happening.  Well-heeled people were coming and going, and many of them passed across that toy-seller. Some with eatables in their hands and some with shopping bags (all branded). Some of the kids were delighted by the sight of those toys. 

So the man started to give the demos frequently in the hope that some of the parents would purchase his toys for their kids. Many of them stopped to check out the toys. They asked the seller to give demo of several toys and he did so. After seeing all of it, they asked the price for few of them. 

Same  scenario was repeated again and again.  And the common iteration  was  
---->  "bhaiya 30 rupay bohot zyada hai, kam lagaao !" After performing futile trials, they all went away without purchasing any of them.

I mean, what were they expecting the price to be ? Rs. 10 ? I can't explain how the person's breaking hopes appeared on his face. 

This is something that I've never been able to understand. Why the affluent individuals demonstrate their art of bargaining in front of the needy (it doesn't include all street-side sellers, it just means "needy").  They are capable to pay all kinds of extra charges including the actual price of things. But when it comes to a toy worth Rs. 30, they say, 

"kam lagaao bhaiya"..

My mommy says..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Life is busy. People would often forget you easily. Don't feel bad if the best of your friends leave your hand in the hour of need, because people change, and so do their priorities. 

Sometimes, you might feel left out. You may also face a time when you would need to distance yourself from some people. Your surroundings might influence you to make negative choices. That's the moment when you would need to control your impulses and use your wisdom to understand what is right for you. 

Never make decisions in the heat of moment or in the influence of external factors like social or peer pressure. You might need to say "NO", without any fear ! It is always better to let go of the negatives, and inculcate only the positive traits of society in your behavior ! 

In life, you would meet people who would stand by you through thick and thin. You would be surprised by the unexpected gift of compassion from few out of many people around you. Long since lost hopes would pave new paths, to change your life and give it a whole new meaning.

Don't waste your time weaving intricate, fantasy worlds in your mind. Live in reality ! At the same time, enjoy your life to the fullest ! Take your part of social responsibilities seriously. Laugh as hard as you can with your family and friends. Be a reason for others' smile and never be judgmental towards anyone, quickly. 

~~~ Always remember to practice humanity since you are born as one ! You can always hurt someone and make them stronger, but you would never be able to call it "YOUR ACHIEVEMENT."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Growing up ~~

            Every year when summer bids good bye and a cool breeze begins to blow, I have this intense urge to take a break from work for a couple of weeks to spend time with family, rejuvenate and prepare myself for the next round of 10 to 5:30 schedule. Oh..! I could dream of those blissful times all day long..!

        And, as Mr Paulo Coelho said, “'when you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it’'. Finally I'm heading towards an occasion that would allow me to live the dream I've lingered upon for so long. But what I am unable to understand now is why I've become so indifferent towards it .

                I just cannot pass on the chance to also express that this break would change my life completely. I am going through a phase of mixed emotions as now I can hear my wedding bells ringing.  I often think hard and long on some unanswered questions that I am never able to put into words. A rush of excitement sends light to my eyes on the sight of amazingly vibrant clothes and jewellery. But all that excitement soon fizzles out when I realize that I will have to leave my home on getting married. I start feeling alienated. I mean I have never been away from home. How would I go days without seeing mommy, papa and my sister. I will miss my family beyond words ! 

               This is happening when I'm getting to marry the person I chose for myself with all my heart. Our places are just ten minutes distance apart from each other. He is the best person I have ever met in my life. I have found loads of love and care for myself in his family. He has become my best friend in this course of time and I feel so elated  that we are going to be partners in this next phase of life. 

            What scares me is the fear of being completely on my own as a grown-up. I wonder how I would carry on without sharing each and every detail of life with mommy, papa and my sister. Would I be able to become that strong and decisive, that responsible ! Mommy's care, papa's guidance and sister's love, Mommy's food, watching TV shows together, talking about the whole world for hours, sharing laughter, relaxing together on weekends, and what not ! Mommy has the solution to every problem. I will miss it all as I am "addicted" to all of it. I want it all at every point of time. I have always been a pampered child, I still am and I know, I will always be. But later I will have to think and wait for the right time to share it all with them. Limited time to spend with them at home, and conversations on phone. I feel lost. But I'm trying to prepare myself for the new beginnings, and it would definitely take time.   

 May be, this is what is called.. "growing up".

Broken Friendship

When I needed her the most,
she wasn't there for me.

When I was sad,
she laughed at me.

When I was shattered,
she fought with me.

When I  was alone,
she left me otherwise.

When I wanted her words,
she stopped talking.

And still she said,
.."it was my fault"..

              
                 - © Vandana  Verma

jhoolaa jhoolo...

Baaki sab kahaan hai koi aa kyun ni raa!!!