~~ Growing up ~~

            Every year when summer bids good bye and a cool breeze begins to blow, I have this intense urge to take a break from work for a couple of weeks to spend time with family, rejuvenate and prepare myself for the next round of 10 to 5:30 schedule. Oh..! I could dream of those blissful times all day long..!

        And, as Mr Paulo Coelho said, “'when you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it’'. Finally I'm heading towards an occasion that would allow me to live the dream I've lingered upon for so long. But what I am unable to understand now is why I've become so indifferent towards it .

                I just cannot pass on the chance to also express that this break would change my life completely. I am going through a phase of mixed emotions as now I can hear my wedding bells ringing.  I often think hard and long on some unanswered questions that I am never able to put into words. A rush of excitement sends light to my eyes on the sight of amazingly vibrant clothes and jewellery. But all that excitement soon fizzles out when I realize that I will have to leave my home on getting married. I start feeling alienated. I mean I have never been away from home. How would I go days without seeing mommy, papa and my sister. I will miss my family beyond words ! 

               This is happening when I'm getting to marry the person I chose for myself with all my heart. Our places are just ten minutes distance apart from each other. He is the best person I have ever met in my life. I have found loads of love and care for myself in his family. He has become my best friend in this course of time and I feel so elated  that we are going to be partners in this next phase of life. 

            What scares me is the fear of being completely on my own as a grown-up. I wonder how I would carry on without sharing each and every detail of life with mommy, papa and my sister. Would I be able to become that strong and decisive, that responsible ! Mommy's care, papa's guidance and sister's love, Mommy's food, watching TV shows together, talking about the whole world for hours, sharing laughter, relaxing together on weekends, and what not ! Mommy has the solution to every problem. I will miss it all as I am "addicted" to all of it. I want it all at every point of time. I have always been a pampered child, I still am and I know, I will always be. But later I will have to think and wait for the right time to share it all with them. Limited time to spend with them at home, and conversations on phone. I feel lost. But I'm trying to prepare myself for the new beginnings, and it would definitely take time.   

 May be, this is what is called.. "growing up".